There’s been a lot of talk about the Planned Parenthood videos and abortions lately, and as we come upon a new election season, there will be more. Truly, the conversations that are being had aren’t new. We’ve been talking and debating in circles about whether or not an abortion is ethical for a really long time now. But maybe it’s time to stop bitching about it and start coming up with solutions, so we can end this debate once and for all.
Abortions are just the symptoms of a disease, a bandaid for the problem: that there are women out there who get pregnant and don’t want to be pregnant. We don’t want to admit this, because it goes against our ideals and gender roles. A woman doesn’t want and love her baby? Gasp! The horror! But it happens. And getting rid of abortion isn’t going to get rid of this problem.
Conservatives like to think that if we eliminate abortion, upon delivery, a woman would magically realize how much she really DID want this baby. And she would write her local politicians to thank them for making her see the light. And her and her baby would live happily ever after amongst rainbows, butterflies and unicorns. But obviously, that’s not reality.
Just as there are men out there who don’t want anything to do with their unborn child, there are women out there too. We assume just because a woman is a woman, she SHOULD have those maternal tendencies (or that she will have those maternal tendencies) upon meeting her child, but what if she doesn’t? What if she never does?
Even if we eliminated abortion, there are still other unsafe, saddening, and unhealthy ways for a woman to get rid of her child, if she really wants to do that. If the prohibition didn’t keep Americans from drinking or making alcohol, do we really think getting rid of abortion will keep women from terminating an unwanted pregnancy? Of course, conservatives would say, “There are other ways, like foster care and adoption.” But again, we are choosing to see the sunny side of things in a crappy situation.
Anti-abortion idealists want to believe that once baby John Doe gets put up for adoption, he will instantly go to a loving home, and will forget the pain of knowing that his mother never wanted to raise him. But realistically, some (if not most) children don’t end up like baby John Doe. Sometimes while in the foster care system, they go to horrible home after horrible home. Sometimes, they get adopted and still go to a horrible home. Sometimes they spend 18 years of their life in foster care (or in an orphanage) and never go to a home. So, is this really a better solution?
If you are pro-life, what is the best way to protect an unborn child’s right to life? Because the right to life isn’t enough. These children deserve the right be loved and to be given a good loving home too. And how do we do that? With better social programs.
To the conservative having a shit fit about this “social program,” to help these women who don’t want their children, I say to you: how badly do you really want abortion to go away? How badly do you want to save these babies’ lives? Put your money where your mouth is. If we can’t even secure a pregnant women a job or maternity leave while she’s pregnant, how are we going to secure their children’s lives?
Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, it shouldn’t matter, we can compromise: Women can be given the ability to walk away from their child (It isn’t pretty, but it’s better than an abortion) by providing better resources for these women and children. Mostly for the children, we can provide them with a better foster care system. Give them the help they deserve emotionally and financially, because they are going to need it.
I do believe Abortion is wrong, now (If we consider bacteria living, why isn’t a child considered alive before we hear their first cry). But I also realize that we need to be realistic with our goals. I want to save these babies’ lives too and I have no problem doing it with my tax dollars. Eliminating these children from the opportunity of having a future is eliminating us all from the opportunity of having a better future. So let’s stop pissing around and really find a way to save them.